Ask for referrals specifically, at a moment of good news, and make the introduction easy. Name the type of person you want, ask "who else" rather than "anyone," and offer to write the intro yourself. Referred customers are worth it: a Wharton study found they had 16% higher lifetime value.
Last updated: September 2026
Most salespeople know referrals are the best leads they will ever get. Most salespeople also never ask. Or they ask once, badly, at the end of a call, with "If you know anyone who might be interested..." and get a polite nothing.
The fix is not charm. It is wording and timing. Below are seven scripts you can use as written.
Why are referrals worth asking for?
Two reasons, both backed by research.
First, people trust people they know. Nielsen's 2012 global trust in advertising survey found 92% of respondents trusted recommendations from people they know. No ad, website or cold email starts with that kind of credit.
Second, referred customers tend to be better customers. Schmitt, Skiera and Van den Bulte studied a bank's referral program and found referred customers had 16% higher lifetime value than customers acquired other ways. One bank, one study. But the direction matches what most sellers see.
When is the right time to ask for a referral?
Ask when the customer has just felt the value. Not before. Good moments:
- Right after they say something positive, unprompted.
- When a project hits a visible milestone.
- At a renewal or expansion.
- At the end of a good discovery call, even if they do not buy. Yes, really.
Bad moments: in the middle of a problem, right after an invoice, or as the last line of a call when everyone is hanging up.
What makes a referral ask work?
- Be specific. "Anyone" makes people think of no one. "Another operations lead at a 50-person company" makes them think of Tom.
- Say "who," not "do you know anyone." "Who" assumes the answer exists. "Anyone" invites a no.
- Make it easy. Offer to write the intro. People do not want homework.
- Ask every time. Once a quarter is not a system. After every good conversation is.
- Close the loop. Tell the referrer what happened. It is polite, and it gets you the next one.
What are good word-for-word referral scripts?
1. After a customer says something nice
"Thanks, that's good to hear. Who else do you know who's dealing with the same problem you had six months ago?"
Then stop talking. Let them think. (That is Rule 04 doing its job.)
2. The specific ask
"We do our best work with operations leads at companies around your size who are still running scheduling on spreadsheets. Who's the first person that comes to mind?"
3. Making the intro easy
"Would it help if I wrote a two-line intro you can forward? You can edit it or toss it. No pressure either way."
Then actually send it within the hour. Keep it short enough to forward without editing.
4. After a lost deal or a "not now"
"Understood, the timing's wrong. Before I let you go: who else in your network is more likely to be dealing with this right now?"
People who say no often feel slightly bad about it. A small, easy yes is welcome.
5. Inside the same company
"You mentioned the Denver office runs things differently. Who's the right person there for me to talk to, and would you mind if I mentioned your name?"
6. At renewal
"Glad this year worked. One ask: who are two people you respect who'd get the same value? I'll take it from there and keep you posted."
7. The follow-up when they said "let me think"
"Hi Maria, following up on our chat last week. You mentioned you might know someone at a firm like yours. Did anyone come to mind? Happy to send the intro text again."
One follow-up. Maybe two. Not five.
Should you offer a reward for referrals?
Sometimes. A thank-you gift or a formal referral program can help, especially in consumer sales. But in most B2B deals the real motivation is looking good in front of a friend. The referrer is lending you their reputation. The best reward is making them look smart for recommending you.
Check your industry rules too. Some fields restrict referral payments.
Key numbers
| Finding | Source |
|---|---|
| 92% of people trust recommendations from people they know | Nielsen, 2012 |
| Referred customers had 16% higher lifetime value | Schmitt, Skiera & Van den Bulte (Wharton) |
Where does asking for referrals go wrong?
- Asking too early. They have not seen value yet. You are asking for a favor on credit.
- Asking too vaguely. "Anyone" gets "I'll think about it." Thinking about it means no.
- Filling the silence. You ask, they pause, you jump in with "No worries if not!" You just answered for them.
- Dropping the ball on the intro. They give you a name and you call three weeks later. The referrer notices.
- Only asking happy customers. Prospects, partners and people who said no all know people too.
Keep the question in front of you
The hard part of referrals is not the words. It is remembering to ask when the call is going well and you just want to hang up happy. That is why Rule 06 is short enough to read from across a room. The Rule 06: Ask who else. Every time. poster includes a six-page guide with more scripts, the common mistakes, and a five-day drill to make the ask automatic.
Related rules:
- Rule 04: Ask. Then stop talking. The pause after the referral ask is where the name comes out.
- Rule 03: Book the next call. Referral intros need a date too.